King John of England had 200 penises instead of just one. They all grew together in the normal place, to normal length, but very thin.
This meant he couldn't have sex because it was like trying to push a frayed rope's end into a wine bottle. It just didn't work.
So he wrote to the King of France asking for advice. The King of France advised him to make a sort of bag out of rubber to bundle them up.
So he did, and it worked, and he was very happy. And this is where the terms "french letter" and "rubber johnny" come from.
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