As I sit here and type this it is the first of November, it's twenty past five in the evening and it's fucking dark.
This time last week, at twenty past five in the evening it was not fucking dark. Bit gloomy maybe but not dark.
This is not due to a sudden shift in the inclination of the Earth's axis, the Sun becoming wrapped in a cloud of stellar debris, or any other cataclysmic natural event. It's entirely due to fucking idiots. At the weekend, some complete arsehole decreed that the clocks should be changed to indicate a time an hour earlier than the time they had previously been indicating.
Now, it is well known that at this time of year it does get darker in the evenings. This is due to the tilt of the Earth's axis and the resulting change in the orientation of the axis relative to the Sun as the Earth moves in its orbit. It happens every year and is entirely predictable. It's a pain in the arse, but it can easily be mitigated by putting the clocks forward an hour or so.
But that's not what happens. The fucking clocks get put BACK an hour instead, thus making the problem worse. What the fuck is going on? YOU'RE DOING IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND YOU FUCKING MORONS!
It's completely stupid. Everything is instantly fucked. The day is over before it's hardly begun. If you work standard hours you don't even get to drive home in the daylight, let alone have any daylight to do stuff in. The rush hour traffic is instantly made worse because all the half-asleep dozy idiots with no clue about the concept of getting their arses in gear are now half-asleep dozy idiots who, since they can't find their arse with both hands in daylight, haven't got a fucking hope of finding it in the dark, let alone getting it into gear. All the daylight is over by the time you could make use of it and you can't do a sodding thing (admittedly, fucking about on the computer is still an option, but that's not much by way of compensation).
And they call this policy "Daylight Saving"? Where the fuck do they get that from? "Daylight Wasting" more like.
LISTEN you TWATS. If you're going to do it at all then bloody well do it the right way round...
PUT THE FUCKING CLOCKS FORWARD IN THE WINTER AND BACK IN SUMMER.
(Or just leave them alone and gain the additional advantage of no longer fucking up the entire nation's sleep cycle.)
Oh, and don't give me some stupid argument about how it would make it dark in Scotland until nearly midday or any of that shit. We already know how to deal with the fact that different parts of the Earth's surface receive daylight at different times. It's called Time Zones. You set the local clocks appropriately for the local daylight cycle. You don't try and keep them in sync with some other fuckers who have daylight at different times, that's just bloody daft. There's no reason why the North shouldn't have a different time zone from the South. Europe's in a different time zone already and that isn't a problem. America's got four time zones and Russia's got loads of the buggers. No reason why we can't have a couple of our own. Indeed, the guys with blue paint on their faces would probably think it was quite cool.
In any case, the whole thing is based on a bullshit principle anyway: that of "standard work hours", ie. forcing everyone to get up at crack of fucking dawn to do... what? 90% of it is useless fucking crap that does not need to be done at all and we'd be better off not doing it. If people only did the 10% of stuff that there is actually any point in doing and weren't forced to do all the other shit, it wouldn't matter when they got up because there'd be loads of time to fit 50 minutes of work into a day. All this bollocks of making people work for 8 hours a day when there is less than one hour a day's worth of actual worthwhile stuff to do and all the rest of the time is just wasted on churning crap is just fucking stupid.
Basically, anyone advocating continuing to change the clocks on the basis that it stops them having to get up in the dark is tilting at the wrong bloody target. There is no reason why they should have to get up in the fucking dark whether the clocks are changed or not. What they ought to be doing is attacking the whole system that makes them get up at a stupid time of day in the first place.
A bloody good start would be to ban alarm clocks and anything else that performs a similar function. Why do people use alarm clocks? Because otherwise they can't be sure of waking up at the time when it is dictated that they should. Why can they not be sure of waking up at that time? Because it is too fucking early for them to have had the amount of sleep that their body actually needs and so the natural thing to do is to carry on sleeping until they have had enough.
Alarm clocks exist to impose sleep deprivation on the population at large in conformance to the completely pointless convention of forcing people to spend the entire day performing useless work for no reason. And no fucker even questions this appallingly shit situation - presumably because the constant sleep deprivation has buggered their critical faculties. For fuck's sake.
Let's be clear about this. Sleep deprivation is a recognised means of torture. It is a major part of what they do to the poor bastards in Guantanamo. Its use is banned by the Geneva Convention. Yet we have a whole fucking society that unthinkingly inflicts it upon fucking everyone as a matter of routine and no cunt even seems to notice what's going on. And there isn't even any reason for doing this. It's only done because of the collective stupidity that refuses to recognise that 90% of the stuff that people are forced to spend all that extra waking time doing is a complete fucking waste and should not be done at all because it's pointless and achieves nothing. Why the pissing fuck are people not rioting in the streets against the manifest and massive injustice and stupidity of this situation? Why the pissing fuck are they almost universally so mindlessly sheeplike as to not even see that there is a problem?
Leave the sodding clocks alone and let's have some fucking usable daylight in the winter for a change.
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