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Changing the clocks
As I sit here and type this it is the first of November, it's twenty
past five in the evening and it's fucking dark.
This time last week, at twenty past five in the evening it was not
fucking dark. Bit gloomy maybe but not dark.
This is not due to a sudden shift in the inclination of the Earth's
axis, the Sun becoming wrapped in a cloud of stellar debris, or any
other cataclysmic natural event. It's entirely due to fucking idiots.
At the weekend, some complete arsehole decreed that the clocks
should be changed to indicate a time an hour earlier than the time they had
previously been indicating.
Now, it is well known that at this time of year it does get darker in
the evenings. This is due to the tilt of the Earth's axis and the
resulting change in the orientation of the axis relative to the Sun as
the Earth moves in its orbit. It happens every year and is entirely
predictable. It's a pain in the arse, but it can easily be mitigated
by putting the clocks forward an hour or so.
But that's not what happens. The fucking clocks get put BACK an hour
instead, thus making the problem worse. What the fuck is going on?
YOU'RE DOING IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND YOU FUCKING MORONS!
It's completely stupid. Everything is instantly fucked. The day is over
before it's hardly begun. If you work standard hours you don't even
get to drive home in the daylight, let alone have any daylight to do
stuff in. The rush hour traffic is instantly made worse because all
the half-asleep dozy idiots with no clue about the concept of getting
their arses in gear are now half-asleep dozy idiots who, since they can't find their arse with both
hands in daylight, haven't got a fucking hope of finding it in the
dark, let alone getting it into gear. All the daylight is over by the time you could make use
of it and you can't do a sodding thing (admittedly, fucking about
on the computer is still an option, but that's not much by way of
compensation).
And they call this policy "Daylight Saving"? Where the fuck do they
get that from? "Daylight Wasting" more like.
LISTEN you TWATS. If you're going to do it at all then
bloody well do it the right way round...
PUT THE FUCKING CLOCKS FORWARD
IN THE WINTER AND BACK IN SUMMER.
(Or just leave them alone and gain the additional advantage of no longer
fucking up the entire nation's sleep cycle.)
Oh, and don't give me some stupid argument about how it would make it
dark in Scotland until nearly midday or any of that shit. We already
know how to deal with the fact that different parts of the Earth's
surface receive daylight at different times. It's called Time Zones.
You set the local clocks appropriately for the local daylight cycle.
You don't try and keep them in sync with some other fuckers who have
daylight at different times, that's just bloody daft. There's no
reason why the North shouldn't have a different time zone from the
South. Europe's in a different time zone already and that isn't a
problem. America's got four time zones and Russia's got loads of
the buggers. No reason why we can't have a couple of our own. Indeed,
the guys with blue paint on their faces would probably think it was
quite cool.
Let's have some fucking usable daylight in the winter for a change.
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