Roadwork Cunts

This is a picture out of the local paper which was used to illustrate an article about a proposal to get rid of a lot of road signs. It does not actually match the content of the article, which was stupid. According to the text the proposal relates to direction signs. You know, the useful things that tell you where to go, with stuff like "Cuntsville 3 miles ==>" on them. Some stupid council cunt has got it into their head that there are too many of them, fuck only knows why, and wants to take them down. Yeah, fuck you, cuntface, you might know your way around but people who don't live here don't. Wouldn't it be great if someone started handing out free maps of the city to confused-looking drivers with "If you don't know where the fuck you're going, it's THIS CUNT'S FAULT" written on them and a big red arrow pointing to where his house is.

It seems that the local paper couldn't find any photos of shit direction signs to illustrate the article with, which isn't surprising because there aren't any to have pictures of. Instead they looked through their archives and found a picture from a few months back showing some road signs which are shit and do need to be got rid of - one might hope that their choice was intended as a hint to the council to convey the message of "fuck the bloody direction signs, they're fine, it's this sort of stupid fucking bollocks you really ought to be doing something about". Signs like this are a nationwide menace: the signs of the Roadwork Cunts.

Completely fucking useless signs which achieve nothing but the creation of entirely unnecessary traffic jams, installed by Roadwork Cunts

I mean just look at it. What the pissing fuck is this moronic installation supposed to achieve? They have fenced off a section of road which HAS NO BLODDY ROADWORKS ON, for absolutely no fucking reason whatsoever, and then installed fucking temporary traffic lights to help people past the obstruction. Except that the fucking obstruction shouldn't fucking be there in the first place. They aren't doing anything on that fucking bit of road. The fucking hole is in the pavement, on the left, behind the sign with the white stripe across it (no, you can't read it in the original pic printed in the paper either). They have not made any sort of hole in the actual fucking road and therefore the only possible result that fencing off that bit can achieve is to fuck up the traffic flow and piss everyone off. This proves that they are cunts because otherwise they wouldn't do that. Yes, there is some yellow paint on that bit of road and maybe they are going to dig it up later on. But they are not fucking digging it up now, so they can fucking well take their fucking signs and bollards and stick them up their arse on the fucking verge until they actually fucking need them.

It's not like it's some side street either that's only got lots of cars on it because the Roadwork Cunts are holding them all up. It's the fucking A44. It's one of the fucking main roads in and out of the city. It's always got lots of cars on it. Hey, yeah, let's just block up the direct feed between the city centre and the M5 for no fucking reason at all and then fuck off down the pub and leave it like that (you could see the pub if the photographer had been ten feet taller). Stupid fucking twats. If I had walked past there I would have picked up all the signs and shit and moved them out of the fucking way, as an act of public service and benefit to the city. And that is what the fucking council ought to be fucking doing. Not getting rid of the signs that are useful and tell people where they are going, but getting rid of the signs that are utterly fucking useless and do nothing but get in the fucking way and fuck everyone off.

Roadwork Cunts also manifest themselves on a larger scale which requires a map rather than a photograph for proper elucidation. These Roadwork Cunts are the ROAD CLOSED Sign Roadwork Cunts. Instead of just blocking off a few yards of one side of the road, they block off a few miles of the whole fucking thing. And nearly all of the time there is just as complete a lack of any fucking reason for it as there is in the case of the traffic light cunts illustrated above.

ROAD CLOSED signs are a load of fucking shite. They do NOT mean the road is impassable. Not unless you are VERY unlucky. I can remember only ONE instance of encountering a ROAD CLOSED sign and finding that it was genuinely not possible to get through - there was a trench across the entire width of the road, no room to get round it on the verge, and no big planks or iron plates lying around to put across it. That's the only time I have EVER had to turn around and go back. On every other fucking occasion, EVERY other occasion, the ONLY thing getting in the way has been the fucking ROAD CLOSED signs themselves and the associated bollards. After dodging round the side of them - or moving the fucking things out of the way if necessary - there is bloody ALWAYS a completely clear, empty road, with fuck all happening on it, no obstructions, no nothing, not even people standing around drinking tea. It has been no problem of any kind to drive down it and the only justification for the fucking ROAD CLOSED signs has been that whoever put them there is a cuntarsed piece of fucking shit, which doesn't count.

Map of the iniquities of Roadwork Cunts on the B4451

On one occasion I was heading up the B4451 towards Southam, via Deppers Bridge from the south - the route highlighted in green on the map, coming in from the bottom. Just before the bridge over the stream heading out of Deppers Bridge, I encountered the fuckarsery of the Roadwork Cunts, variety ROAD CLOSED Sign. At this point the goat-felching wank-stains had decided to make every fucker turn round and go back on themselves and round the route highlighted in fucking purple, which is something like three times the fucking distance. For no fucking reason except cuntery, and there wasn't even some bod standing there to offer people a pint of petrol to make up for it.

I followed my normal procedure of dodging round the side of the stupid fucking ROAD Not Fucking CLOSED At All sign and carrying on as normal. And "normal" is exactly what it was, because as expected there was fuck all going on. Nothing had happened to the road at all. Some buggers had been digging up the verge, but they weren't there now, and the only thing they had left behind was some bollards along the edge of the trench they'd dug. There wasn't even any plant lying about. There was absolutely fuck nothing to get in the way at all until I got to the other end and had to dodge the bollards and shit there to get out.

Fucking load of fucking shite. Road fucking closed my fucking arse. There was nothing fucking wrong with it at all and they had just left it blocked while they weren't even fucking there, let alone digging it up, for no fucking reason whatsoever except that they were too bleeding lazy-arsed to take the fucking signs down when they went home. Because they are cunts.

And it is ALWAYS like that. Fucking shitbags think it's OK to send people miles out of their fucking way for absolutely fucking nothing and don't give a flying toss about how much of a pain in the arse they are being. Well they can stick their fucking ROAD CLOSED signs up their own fucking arse and maybe then they'll find out.

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