For fuck's sake just pack this in already, OK? This stupid bleeding fashion for making up a stupid name for it every time the weather's a bit shit. Calling a bit of drizzle some stupid fucking thing like Storm Arsehole or Crappy Weather Cockface or Mild With Scattered Showers Pube or some other meaningless pissing tag. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Because it does not actually mean anything so just fuck off with it.
For fuck's sake. The weather is always going a bit shit. This is fucking Britain. Being shit is what the weather does. Grumbling about it is our national hobby. Having loads of things go wrong in stupid ways every time it does what it always does at the time of year and being complete fucking joeys in failing to cope with it is our national fucking idiocy. What cunt started tagging twee little shitty names on it every time it happens as if it was something special? What the fuck is it for? Next thing you know we'll be giving individual cunty fucking names to it every time someone farts.
Once upon a time they only did this for things like big hurricanes which actually were special. It was still just as shit of course. But at least it didn't happen very often and it was always thousands of miles away so it wasn't local news and it was easy enough not to notice the shitey name much. Now some stupid fuckers have started fucking doing it every time it rains enough to make a puddle in the street. Which of course it does all the bleeding time and it never used to be news but now it gets given a stupid name the fucking name gets into the news and you don't know what the fuck they're on about because it's just a random stupid word that doesn't mean anything. Which is shit.
Then finally after being pissed off at all this fucking nonsense for far too long it turns out that what they're actually blithering about is when all the autumn leaves blew off the trees last week. How the fuck are you supposed to work that out? They keep farting on about Storm Penis this and Storm Penis that and Storm Penis the other as if it had been some massive famous disaster and you wonder when the fuck this is supposed to have happened and why didn't you notice it. Then you eventually discover the reason you didn't notice it is because there fucking wasn't anything to fucking notice because all they mean is a couple of days of shitty weather which were exactly the fucking same as any other couple of days of shitty weather like it does all the fucking time anyway. I mean for shit's sake when they think they're so short of news they have to start making last fucking week's fucking weather into news then surely to fuckness they ought to realise they've totally fucking lost it when they could be reporting something with some actual fucking point to it like what nefarious piece of creeping shit the Tories are working on for their fascism by stealth programme next.
And for fuck's sake if you absolutely fucking must blather on in public about something so utterly fucking tedious as last week's perfectly ordinary shitty weather, at least have the fucking common sense and consideration to refer to it using the FUCKING DATE. Calling it Bit Wet Today Scrote-hairs might sound incredibly clever to some twat-arsed spoogebrain with less than half the intelligence of a peanut, but it DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN ANYTHING. If you have to fucking talk about it at all then refer to it in a way that actually DOES mean something. USE THE FUCKING DATE, then it's obvious that all you mean is last week's fucking weather and we can all stop wondering why it sounds like something significant and switch off and ignore your mindbendingly idiotic wibble for the pointless trivia it is. Otherwise I'll start giving all my turds names like Faeces Frank or something and making up stories about them and putting them on the news and getting all snotty-arsed at anyone who has no fucking idea what this shit is all about.
Or better still just fuck off entirely you infuriating idiotic fucking trivial tits.
Back to Crap Stuff
Back to Pigeon's Nest
Be kind to pigeons