Morons and the word "substitute"

What the bleeding fuck is it about the word "substitute" these days that has people deliberately saying the opposite of what they mean?

Take this quote from a post on a forum...

"there's a downside though because Wife-ShopTM substitutes the proper versions of things for the diet version."

Well, that sounds like a jolly good thing to me. Diet versions of foodstuffs are usually tasteless shit. So substituting proper versions of things for them is not only perfectly acceptable but positively desirable.

In fact, though, as indicated by the word "downside", this post is a complaint. How can that be? Well, the spazmodic cocktard has written the opposite of what he means. Fuck knows why. What he actually means is that he specifies the proper versions but his wife then substitutes diet versions... she substitutes diet versions for proper versions. Or she replaces proper versions with diet versions. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

This is fucking basic, straightforward, simple use of English. If you get rid of A and put B in its place, then what you are doing is substituting B for A. NOT THE OTHER FUCKING WAY ROUND.

People do this all the time. When I see the referents of the word "substitute" in the correct order these days it's time to get the fucking flags out. Time and time again people get it the wrong way round for no fucking discernible reason whatsoever, saying the opposite of what they mean, and expect every other fucker to work around their illiterate stupidity.

What makes it worse is that this is a recent phenomenon. Not so many years ago it was more or less unheard of. People always used to get it the right way round and there never used to be a problem.

It's as if some kind of disease of syntactical stupidity has struck the entire population in the last few years and caused them to treat the word "substitute" as an opportunity to behave like a moronic cunt. Saying the opposite of what you mean when clear communication is the intention cannot be construed as anything other than utter crass stupidity, the act of someone with one lonely brain cell rattling around inside several inches of solid bone and deserving of having the words THICK TWAT tattooed on the forehead.

And the icing on the cake is that when you correct these idiots they moan at you for being "overly pedantic". Oh, fucking yeah. Since when was it overly pedantic to complain about the error of someone saying the opposite of what they actually mean? Do these dicks put signs saying "Perfectly safe - come in" on the fences around abandoned mineshafts? Do they go and drink cyanide because someone told them it's poisonous so it must be good for you? Of course not, which is a pity. So what is it with "substitute" that makes them act like total fuckwits?

Let me make this entirely clear and then I may not have to print out your illiterate shite 100 times and form the compacted printout into a cudgel with which to beat you round the head until you learn to fucking write properly.

You get rid of A and you put B in its place... you substitute B FOR A.


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