No one would have believed, in the last minutes of the summer vacation, that human affairs were being watched from a miniature video camera in Boutros Boutros Ghali's underpants.

No one could have dreamed that David Owen would be elected Prime Minister.

Few gerbil hunters even considered the advantages of being allowed to lick Madonna's kidneys .

And yet, across the gulfs of space, minds immeasurably stranger than ours, regarded this Earth with at least nine eyes.

And slowly and surely, they contracted foot and mouth disease.

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