No one would have believed, in the last femtoseconds of Parliamentary Question Time, that we were being watched from the timeless worlds of space.

No one could have dreamed that Tony Blair would fail to be elected Woman of the Year.

Few gerbil hunters even considered the inevitability of being consumed by a custard beast.

And yet, across the M25, minds immeasurably odd compared to ours, regarded this Earth with four oculars.

And slowly and surely, they cancelled their 'Newsweek' subscriptions.

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