"Lazy loading" images

This is the technical name for that stupid fucking bollocks where a web page "loads" but deliberately doesn't load the images, so actually it's not fucking "loaded". The cockends who do this have some dickheaded idea that the images will be loaded one by one as you scroll down, which they seem to think is a good idea for no real reason other than that they can do it. In fact it's a shit idea, because they can't do it. Or at least they can't do it properly, partly because they're shit and can't do anything properly and partly because it's a bleeding stupid idea in the first place and the only way to do it properly is to not fucking do it at all.

Naturally, the most common result of some cock doing this is that it just plain does not work at all, so what you get is a web page with all the fucking images missing. Which is shit.

Even when it does work it's still shit, because it stops the page itself working properly. It fucks the scrolling up. As you try and scroll down the page it keeps locking up on you every time you get to another missing image, and everything grinds to a halt while the image is loaded. Only since you haven't stopped trying to make it scroll at the same instant that it decides it's going to piss about, there are now loads of "scroll down" keypresses waiting in the keyboard buffer for the browser to take notice of once it finally pulls its knickers out of the crack of its arse. So it suddenly jumps half a page or more and brings another missing image onto the screen and the whole fucking process starts again. By the time it's all eventually sorted out you no longer know where the fuck you are on the page and you're far more pissed off than if the stupid cunts just hadn't bothered.

The supposed justification for the idiotic idea is to try and make the pages load faster. Which it fucking doesn't. All it can ever manage to do is make a broken and incomplete page load faster, which is a waste of bloody time because it's fucking broken and doesn't work properly until it is complete. Which it never even will be of its own accord and you have to fuck around scrolling up and down this broken shite which doesn't scroll properly to make it become complete.

And as previously noted, about 90% of the time or more it doesn't even do this much, it just sits there with great big blank spaces where the images are supposed to be and so is permanently shit regardless.

And perhaps what's most fucking idiotic about the whole bloody thing is that the moronic cunts are utterly incapable of writing the really rather simple javascript needed to make it happen by themselves, because their skulls are entirely packed with condensed shit, and instead of trying to learn how (because their skulls are entirely packed with condensed shit) they just copy and paste some gigantic fucking bloated mess out of the first post by some previous fucking moron that their google search vomits up. And apart from said bloated mess being fucked to start with so it doesn't fucking work anyway, it's so fucking bloated that it takes longer to load than the total of all the fucking images put together. So even if the idea itself worked perfectly it would still end up making things slower.

For fuck's sake.

Listen you stupid bastards. There is ONE correct way to put an image on a web page. It goes like this:

<img src="bjdonkey.jpg" alt="Boris Johnson fellating a donkey">

That is absolutely the complete fucking end of the fucking story, and if you find yourself tempted to do anything even slightly more complicated then do not fucking do it or else you will be a cunt.

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