Stupid fucking shitty things too many websites do

Far too many websites these days are put together by people who have no fucking idea what they are doing, who call themselves "web designers". This is a highly inappropriate name, not only for the obvious reason that it is pretentious and shit, but more importantly because they do not actually design anything. They merely copy and paste chunks of code that they do not understand, with an incomprehensibly complete blindness to the result being utterly shit.

They are very strange people, because although they assemble websites they quite obviously never actually use any websites themselves. They merely trawl them for new varieties of piss awkward shit that makes them a huge pain in the arse, to crib it into their already far too extensive libraries of shitty things to put on websites. They then cobble together as many as possible of those shitty things into a hideous pool of festering sludge, garnish it with soggy strips of used bog roll, and call the result a really great website on the grounds that it does as many shit things as they can manage to cram into it. And they sell these heaps of crap to some fucking stupid fat cunt with too much money and not enough sense, who also somehow manages to never actually use any website, and is enough of a mindless fuckwit to think something must be good because some twat who wants to make money selling it says it is.

This page is a grossly incomplete list of examples of moronic website cuntery, with the intent of pointing out that these shite things ARE SHITE. Anywhere else that any of these things are mentioned is written by some dumb fucking idiot who is too thick to understand that and/or antisocial enough to try and make out they're not shite and tell people how to do them. (Funny how you're not allowed to have resources telling people how to be a terrorist when both the number of people who actually want to be a terrorist and the number of people who will ever actually get terroristed are both fucking minute, but having resources with encouragement and detailed instructions for fucking up things that shitloads of people use all the fucking time is not a problem.) So here I am pointing out that these things ARE shite and are NOT a good thing to put on a website (with technical details, where necessary, conveyed in a manner which is not suitable for fuckwits to copy and paste). Kind of like How Not To Be A Terrorist in a world where everybody does want to be one.

List of Shit Things

(Yes, I know there's next to fuck all here at the moment. Told you it was new.)

...and SSL redirects
"Lazy loading" images
Pages with all the fucking content deliberately missing
position: fixed
Sodding huge fonts
Fucking Cloudflare

(Note: This list is not in any particular order, or according to any particular agenda of completeness, or on any other particular principle. Items are just posted as and when I get pissed off enough by some particular example to be inspired to post about how shit it is. So the significance of any particular website which is named (unless I actually address the rant about it in the text to the specific stupid bastards who run that site) is simply that that site on top of everything else that day pissed me off enough to write about it and I took my examples from what was most immediately to hand; it doesn't mean that that website is more shit than any of the other websites which do the same thing, it means that all websites which do that thing are shit and that site happened to be handy for pointing it out with. It's even possible that since I wrote about it the site has changed and doesn't do that shit thing any more, although it's most unlikely since no fucking thing that's been changed to make it shit ever does get changed back to being not shit, because people are cunts.)

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