Fucking Cloudflare

Cloudflare is a piece of shit that blocks websites for no fucking reason, and it needs to just FUCK OFF AND DIE.

Cloudflare arbitrarily blocking a site, because it is a cunt
Fuck off and die

Look at this fucking shite. "Please wait while we are checking your browser." Yeah, it's a fucking browser. It doesn't need fucking "checking". What the fuck is that supposed to even mean anyway?

The page title is even worse. "Security check". Is it fuck. How the cunting fuck can it possibly be any kind of "security check"? Don't be so bleeding stupid. And more than that, don't fucking take me for a fucking idiot thinking I'll believe such moronic bollocks.

Cloudflare arbitrarily blocking a site: its cunty source code
Fuck off and die, again

Looking at the page source we can see what it is REALLY trying to do.


All I'm actually trying to do is read some fucking text off a customer service help site. Why in the name of all the world's puddles of decomposing syphilitic donkey spunk can't it just SHOW ME THE FUCKING TEXT? What the FUCK is the fucking point of shoving all these stupid barriers and shite in the way? What the fuck does it even achieve except to make the site inaccessible and fuck people off?

(It's Pockit, of course. Pockit's idea of customer service is to have a robot deposit a bucket of shit on your head at two-month intervals, and never under any circumstances provide any other kind of response. It's only natural that they should think it's a good idea to block access to their public help pages for no fucking reason. But of course it does nothing to make me any less furious with the stupid cunts than I have been for the past however many years it is since their robot started depositing two-monthly buckets of shit on my head, and in any case they are not the only ones who do this fucking stupid shit, oh no indeed they are not by any means.)

OF COURSE none of this fucking shite actually works, and the browser just sits there displaying that stupid message indefinitely. It doesn't even display the "turn_on_..." messages which can be seen in the source code. Shall we have a look at why not?

And about that fucking captcha script... for fuck's sake. Look at the fucking thing. cloudflare-dogshit.js.txt (Note that the original didn't have any line breaks or whitespace in it; I've had to run a prettifier on it to make it bloody readable at all.) The whole thing has been deliberately fucked up to make it bleeding impossible to understand what it's doing. Which is an absolute guarantee that it's doing something evil otherwise they wouldn't be trying to hide it. So it can fuck right fucking the fucking fuck off... and indeed that is what it does get made to do, because the obfuscation does not prevent it being automatically detected as an evil script.

So what the fuck is really going on? This bleeding Cloudflare shite is nothing more than an attempt to make sure that random fucking wankers can run random fucking evil shite on your computer before it lets you actually read the fucking site. So stop fucking doing it you cunts. Try and learn how to write a website without being an evil wanker. Or else just fuck off trying to do any kind of website and go and eat your own shit.

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