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Pigeon's Cack
What does "cack" mean in Arabic? I keep getting hits on this page from people searching MSN Arabia for "cack". This puzzles me. So if you know what "cack" means in Arabic, please tell me. I don't like to disappoint my readers, and as long as Arabic cack isn't something really horrible I feel I ought to put some up.
Cack Index
I have a forum stalker
Shipwrecked (A Christmas Tale)
- please email
this link to all your friends. –
Arseholes to "Auld Lang Syne"
Blu-tack –
Do not be afraid of freedom and love
Iesus iterum
salvat 11/11/2006 –
Cleaning conundrum...
Music plays 03/11/2006 –
Jesus showed me the way (to Halfords)
This one is not a
fucking wreck 03/11/2006 –
...and this one is a cracker
Life is strange
sometimes... 30/10/2006 –
...here we go again 28/12/2006
...yes, here we bloody
go 21/01/2007 –
An interesting week 05/03/2007
An SMTP gateway for myspace messages? –
Where is this street?
Introduction to Pigeon's Cack
It's interesting looking at the server logs for this site. The
Trilink
hydrostatic transmission page gets plenty of hits from people
searching Google images for hydraulic pretty well anything, the
Deltic
workshop manual page gets its share of hits for some reason, and
the computer
stuff pages attract a steady trickle of hits from people who have
the same obscure problems that I have had (unfortunately very few of
them give me feedback
on whether my pages helped them). And there are plenty of hits on the
Joey Deacon
page, which seems to have a remarkably high Google rating - for a
"pages from the UK" search it even ranks ahead of the
"official" Joey
Deacon site's new URL.
But the most notable feature is the
amount of interest there is in the rants section.
Plenty of people read one rant and then go on to read most or all of
the others. It's weird. Those pages are mainly there to provide me
with a place to get things off my chest. I wouldn't have thought pages
and pages of strongly and profanely expressed anger would be all that
appealing, but plenty of people seem to enjoy reading it.
Oh, I admit that one or two of the rants have some useful stuff in,
like the
Dell Poweredge 2450 RAID Key (PERC enabler) page, which tells you
how to build your own for a couple of quid instead of paying 80 quid
odd for the Dell part, and the
youtube rant which analyses the evil obfuscation on youtube videos
in sufficient detail for anyone with moderate intelligence to work out
how to download the videos on any platform, and includes ready-made
methods for Linux. And a few people have
downloaded the source code for
Attack of the Lesbian Communists (The Greenham Common Game),
though I don't see any 3D Linux versions in development yet. But those
rants aren't particularly popular ones. Hardly anyone reads the RAID
key one, only the odd techy type, and those who read the youtube one have found it off Google
while looking for some other utility with the same name as my Linux
script and don't go on to read the rest of the rants. So it's not the
useful content that appeals. People just seem
to like reading them.
And then there are the
Peculiar Pages.
The contact page
has a lot of weird stuff on it, and is part of a
circular list of the other pages on the site which also have weird
stuff on. Plenty of people seem to read through those. One reader said
that if he ever needed a perfect illustration of the fine line between
genius and madness he'd use my
page on macroscopic quantum phenomena, which pretty much made my
day, as did the reader who described them as "absolutely barking" and
"a perfect example of Britishness" or something like that.
Those pages have even less point than the rants, they're just me
picking some odd topic and burbling on about it from my variant
columbine viewpoint.
Yet people not only read them, they seem to like
them. Fuck knows why. The only conclusion I can draw is that there's
something about my writing which appeals to people. Maybe I should be
a writer... never really thought of myself as a writer. If I did
anything "arts" I'd be a
photographer. Landscape, for preference - the car and bike shots
are more documentary than anything else, it's landscape that I like
and I don't have to rely on log file analysis to know that other
people like it too. Or I could be a glamour photographer. No, you
dorks, not for a cheap thrill, being behind the camera induces a very
spaced and detached viewpoint which has the effect that such
considerations simply don't come into it - effectively, you become one
with the camera (man), and a camera has no sexual function, so you don't
either... if that makes any kind of sense. (Similarly, when I was
photographing
John Lees' Barclay James Harvest in concert, I was barely aware of
the music much of the time, which was a bit of a bummer.)
It's
just that I think the
standard needs improving, I'm sure I could do a
better job with an old box brownie than half the fucking gibbons out
there who don't seem to know one end of a camera from the other, or a
woman for that matter... Second option would be a musician. I've written
the odd song and have half a clue about singing them but my
appreciation of how to go about musical composition is eclectic and
technical and unlikely to make it easy to get a band together. Writer
I'd never really thought about, but perhaps I should give it a shot.
So here's a bunch of pages containing random cack. If people like my
cack I can produce plenty of it... This is not focussed angry cack
like the rant pages, nor does it describe certain particular topics in
detail like the Peculiar Pages. It's just thoughts about this and
that, stream of consciousness type stuff I guess, though I prefer
"random cack". You might call it "blog" only it's not in any kind of
blog format and is dated only where relevant. And anyway I don't like
that word. It's just cack which I hope may provide entertainment in
some vague sense, or some other kind of undefined positive result, since
people seem to like my cack. If you do like my cack please read it. If you don't like
my cack please don't read it otherwise I'll think you do. You can
contact me about
my cack if you like.
Anyway, that's enough of that, here's the
cack. Please bear in mind that my ancestry is Celtic on one side and
Viking on the other, and half Celtic half Viking adds up to whole
person who is apparently spaced on magic mushrooms all the time without
having to actually take any. Fortunately the Celtic side wins out so
they're psilocybes rather than bloody fairytale gnome toadstools. The
juxtaposition of muscarine and the contents of my head would be as
inappropriate as the juxtaposition of the most beautiful woman in the
world and a shite plastic car. The Viking side manifests itself mainly
in my attraction to old Volvos, and the most beautiful woman in the world
can rest assured that old Volvos are neither shite nor plastic.
I have a forum stalker
Shipwrecked (A Christmas Tale)
- please email
this link to all your friends.
Arseholes to "Auld Lang Syne"
Blu-tack
Do not be afraid of freedom and love
Iesus iterum salvat 11/11/2006
Cleaning conundrum...
Music plays 03/11/2006
Jesus showed me the way (to Halfords)
This one is not a fucking wreck 03/11/2006
...and this one is a cracker
Life is strange sometimes... 30/10/2006
...here we go again 28/12/2006
...yes, here we bloody go 21/01/2007
An interesting week 05/03/2007
An SMTP gateway for myspace messages?
Where is this street?
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